When cooking for your significant other do not choose important date nights, like major holidays or birthdays or anniversaries, to experiment with new recipes and ingredients. While these experiments can sometimes turn out spectacularly you should take into account any allergies or dietary restrictions. Or you could nearly kill her with homemade Kung Pao Chicken.
First Orgasm goes to her, this is non-negotiable. Do not deviate from this formula. Where X=Girlfriend and Y=Chances of having sex again.
Where X + Time(2)/Orgasm= Y
Also, when you hear her start saying “Oh GOD YES!” DO NOT CHANGE WHAT YOU ARE DOING, you finally found the right way to do things, so keep doing things…that way.
Last Orgasm could go to her too, cuz it never hurts to be thorough.
And if you don’t know, ask.
Things I learned from Ex-Girlfriends - When she makes this face *rolls eyes* it would behoove you to shut the fuck up and listen. What she is saying with this expression is that you are stupid, and dammit she’s probably right.
When parallel parking pull in as close to the sign as possible, this will prevent gaps too small for other cars from appearing later in the day.
Things Ex-Girlfriends Taught Me - “Meat-Spin is NOT sexy”
No matter what your bros say, Meat-Spin is not sexy. and you should be careful where you swing that thing, you could put an eye out.
